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Post by VulcanElf on Feb 19, 2009 22:09:42 GMT
Why on earth not? If the plot is yours, you can do whatever you want with it. Hell, plenty of honest-to-goodness published authors of literature have done that with non-fic plots, recycling them until they got them right. (Ayn Rand, anyone?)
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Post by Sai on Mar 1, 2009 21:34:44 GMT
*cough*
I have another original fiction.
It needs a beta.
No sex or slashiness.
Someone willing to check it out for me? I swear I'll love you to the end of time!
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Post by VulcanElf on Mar 2, 2009 2:51:26 GMT
I don't think I'm taking on anything new until after I've completed all my reading for the awards, Sai. But if you haven't found the help you need by then, ask again and I'll give it a thought.
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Post by Sylla on Mar 8, 2009 22:00:52 GMT
So... I've got an idea for an original fanfiction. It's (oh god) a story about vampires. Real ones, not pixies. No no wait hear me out!
So the backstory goes thusly: vampires have existed since time immemorial, and as human society has progressed so have they, creating small, informal governments, generally known as Clans or Covens (the need for general secrecy prevents them from having nation-wide or international governments). Some world leaders or people involved in the supernatural know about their existence, but not many. The most important thing that vampire society has spawned, though, is the Corps. The Corps is kind of a crack assault team, that keeps the supernatural under control - for self-preservation purposes. Most of them don't care about the fate of humanity beyond what they'd eat if humanity kicked the bucket, but having demons an succubi running amok is not precisely conducive to remaining a secret. They also deal with situations where someone's attempted to create an artificial vampire/demon - which is what the plot ultimately revolves around. (Kinda, at least.)
The plot starts with a female vampire named Mariya, who's part of the Corps' Search and Destroy branch (and has been for about half a century). About eighteen years ago, she was involved in an attempted vampire creation that turned out to be the stuff of nightmares, and lost a good many friends. Since then, she vowed to stay away from anything to do with the creation of vampires. Needless to say, that's not gonna turn out too well.
She gets a call late in the day: a vampire with blue eyes has been found dead, stake rammed through his heart and drained of blood. Three things make it important: one, the blue eyes. Vampires with light, clear eyes are, for lack of a better word, the 'good' vampires, so why anyone would kill him is a mystery. Second, the stake suggests it was a human, but all the humans capable of killing vampires know not to go after the ones with clear eyes. Thirdly, the drained blood. No vampire would ever kill another to feast on its blood; that's considered the most heinous crime in vampire society, and an inconceivable betrayal. A human might have done it - but again, none of the humans capable of killing a vampire would ever drink vampire blood.
So, it's a mystery. She goes to ask one of the few humans she knows with the physical and magical strength to take down a vampire, but according to him, neither he nor any of the other families capable of taking down vampires are responsible for the act. He (later) gives her a stake, made of yew and plated in silver and blessed for good measure, to use as a last resort. It'll hurt her, but get the job done.
More vampires start to turn up dead - except this time they're not random vampires, but members or ex-members of the Corps. All of them were involved in the case of eighteen years ago - though at first they don't figure that out, as they think someone's merely attacking members of the Corps. It's only when an ex-member turns up dead that they start to add two and two together.
At this point, enter the Sub-Director of the Corps (whom I'm calling Matthias at this moment in time). So Matthias has something of a past with Mariya; he was there during the case of eighteen years ago. It was Mariya's first time handling something that traumatic, so he made the mistake of comforting her. Oops. The thing with vampires is that, just as every other sense is heightened when they become vampires, so too is touch. And every so often a vampire will come across another vampire for whom that effect is multiplied a thousandfold. It's often one-sided, but every so often it applies to both involved. (Such cases usually end up being awesome sex, or a completely self-destructive relationship.) Guess what happened to Mariya and Matthias.
So yeah, he comforted her, and things escalated fast. (Hey, vampires still have blood. Otherwise, why would they have to drink it?) too bad he already had a wife. Or, as they say it (because they can't set foot inside churches, which makes the whole idea of holy matrimony kinda impractical?, 'Partner'. Mariya only found out later, and immediately swore to hate his guts for all eternity. Which is a little hard when they're collaborating on an investigation together, and so much as a casual pat on the shoulder makes them want to jump each other. Also not helped by the fact that he had Mariya's loyalty from way back when he was head of the Search and Destroy Branch, or that she might actually care for him a little more than her self-proclaimed gut-loathing would suggest.
Anyway. Once they figure out what might possibly be behind all the murders, they decide to search for the culprit on the Other planes, which doesn't require physical movement because they're not physical planes. Matthias disappears before they have a chance to search, though. Mariya encounters the fake vampire on the Other planes, and he basically confirms their suspicion that it's behind everything by telling her to go to where it's at, and telling her that he'll let Matthias burn in the sun. Mariya doesn't believe him and searches for Matthias, only to find that she can't find him, which means he must be behind concealing wards. She can feel his presence, though, and he tells her he's sorry. (Insert appropriately emotional scene here, which will be the bane of me as I can't write relationships.)
So Mariya goes to where the fake vampire says (for lack of a better word) he's at (Matthias isn't there) – with or without backup; I haven't decided yet. There's an appropriately epic fight scene, and she realizes she can't beat him. She's strong, but not that strong. the fake vampire appears on the physical plane and talks to her. Now, this shocks Mariya, because he didn't know he could communicate via spoken word - communication on the Other planes isn't the same as communication in the physical plane. He tells her he's learnt their language because he wants to be, well, normal. He hated everyone involved with the initial case eighteen years ago, but has a curiosity for Mariya because he saw her basically have an emotional breakdown after the case (which he survived due to the fact that he doesn't really exist on the physical plane - he just inhabits it for a while).
The fake vampire asks if he could possibly be accepted as a part of vampire society. It's a need that consumes him, even more than revenge, but Mariya doesn't quite realize this. She tells him the truth: that, after the crimes he's committed, there's no way he could ever be accepted as a vampire. The fake vampire despairs, and allows Mariya to kill him - though not before telling Mariya where Matthias is, and showing her how to break the wards that keep him there.
The sun is coming up by now, and Mariya rushes to where Matthias is (haven't decided yet; maybe a rooftop or something). By the time she arrives, he's been out in the sun for almost half an hour, and is practically dead. He's resisted that long solely because he's fairly powerful - more than Mariya, frankly. She manages to get him out of the sunlight, getting burned herself in the process. Because there's no other way, she lets him drink her own blood to keep him 'alive' – which is pretty much the most intimate thing a vampire can do. Voilá, happy ending for all.
Except not, because Mariya grieves the death of a monster they created by trying to kill. Hefty dose of guilt right there, but Matthias promises he'll see her through it. He suggests writing down the story... which brings the narrative full circle.
There. That's basically the plot in its entirety. So... what do you all think? Interesting? ... Or would you all rather just shoot me for attempting a vampire story? =P
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Post by Youko-Kokuryuuha on Mar 8, 2009 23:17:09 GMT
Holy sh!t, Sylla. It sounds like you have a farily detailed and well-thought out plot. I just wish you'd put more about the fight scene and Matthias's location, because that. sounds. badass.
I'd read it. :D
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Post by kajnrig on Mar 9, 2009 13:42:24 GMT
...one or both of them should die. Just because I'm grumpy like that.
But speaking of vampire stories, I also had this idea where vampires weren't really vampires, but ghosts or dead people or something. Something about the core components of vampirism - immortality meaning you don't age at all, drinking blood being a Medieval symbol of leeching life, and aversion to sunlight meaning that the "vampire" (ie ghost) disappears in the sun 'cuz it's invisible. Something along those lines but with much more conviction and strength at the time.
And after reading The Sandman and Watchmen, I thought it'd be cool to write a superhero comic where the superhero is a zombie. Word. No uber-powers, just a zombie. Fight evil by sticking a straw into its head.
Anyway.
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Post by Sylla on Mar 9, 2009 17:12:55 GMT
Thanks, Koky. The fight scene and Matthias' location are actually two of the things I haven't put that much thought into, actually. I've set them out, but I've yet to actually plan exactly what'll happen. I do have an excerpt from the beginning written, though, if you're interested. @kaj: Yeah, I was wondering whether to kill off Matthias... but then, ultimately a bunch of vampires would be dead, the culprit would be set up as a tragic figure and then also dead, and Mariya'd have lost the 'love interest' on top of that. The only way I could really round off a bad ending like that is go the whole shebang and have Mariya let herself burn in the sun, a la proper tragic ending style. That'd look kinda weird, though, given that the story's meant to be a chronicle written in the past tense by Mariya herself. =P But I'm pretty sure I won't follow that option and kill Matthias off. The reason is simply that it reminds me too much of what happens at the end of the Black Magician trilogy (which is an awesome trilogy, but would have been even awesomer if it weren't for the last book). At the end, a whole bunch of characters are dead, but hey, so are the evil magicians because Akkarin and Sonea defeatED WHAT THE F*** AKKARIN'S DEAD, AKKARIN'S DEAD HOW THE HECK DID THAT HAPPEN HE WAS THE COOLEST CHARACTER IN THE WHOLE DAMN TRILOGY, F***!!! ... Yeah, I hated that ending. It's meant to be a happy ending, but it's pretty damn tragic. Hate endings like that. Therefore, I probably won't do it. =P I do have planned to kill off one of Mariya's closest friends, though: a Welsh vampire named Cadell. Hmm. I'll eventually have to get a beta... once I've written about half the story, I suppose. (Oh, also. Lawl at the zombie superhero idea. Doooo eeeeet.)
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Post by Youko-Kokuryuuha on Mar 9, 2009 23:02:42 GMT
Actually, kaj, that's an interesting concept. The vampire one, I mean; not the zombiez. :p
Sylla: Yeah, while I was reading your plot I was totally expecting a tragic ending and angst, simply because everyone dies n' all that. Still, unless it's explicitly stated that the entire story is a recollection on Mariya's part, you could get away with killing her if you wanted to. By the way, have you thought up a title for this story?
(...Wait, what happened to Matthias' partner? Did she die?)
But anywho. While we're all coming out of the closet and admitting to committing the most unspeakable sin of a vampire novel, I'll admit that I...sorta...maybe thought up a vampire fic too?
It came to me last month when I was thinking about "Underworld" and how much material my muse was spouting out lately, so I wondered if I could just make a fic up on the spot. And I did.
To be honest, though, I've only just touched on the beginning of the fic, and there isn't much in the way of plot. I've only got a few characters down. The basic premise I've got so far is...
It's set in 17th (or 18th, I haven't decided) century Venice, Italy, and from the few point of one dark-haired William Nobelle (pun much?), a member of the exceedingly rich and wealthy Nobelle family. He's kind and good-natured---a little too much, according to his cousin Sophia---and cursed with an overbearing and cruel mother and a maid named Beatrice who, really, is the mother he never had.
Oh, yeah. And he's madly in love with and betrothed to his best friend, Lillian Alphonse.
So, basically, one evening he's out for a stroll on the town with his dear old cousin Sophia, and they spot a peasant near the fountain square, just sort of laying on the ground and wallowing in filth under a pile of rags. Good ol' Willie decides he wants to help the lady (because, y'know, she looks all diseased and stuff), but Sophia tells him, "Don't touch it, Willie. It's filthy."
Here, I expand on the Nobelle family's prejudice toward the poor and lowly, and how they regard them as "knaves" and "scum" and so forth. The usual aristocratic blue-bloods.
They cross the bridge over the babbling green brook, and by the time they get home, Willi's already developed a scheme. With kind-hearted Beatrice's help, he managed to sneak out of his room and out the tower mansion.
It's night when Willie climbs up the manor walls to Lily's window and coaxes her to help him. (Lily, by the way, is the most intelligent, bubbly, talkative blonde on the planet. Also, she hates her family's beliefs--i.e. women are supposed to shut their mouths and look pretty.) She's enthralled with the idea of breaking the century's idea of "what's proper" and wants to take care of the sickly one day; it's her passion. This is why it doesn't take much for him to sway her. She pilfers a bag of her father's coins and scrambles down the wall, and she and Willie sneak back into town to aid the ailing peasant.
Only, she's not there. Her corpse is, though, glimmering with spilled blood in the moonlight. They here and retching sound coming from the fountain's direction, and turn to see a woman sitting upon the altar, vomiting blood into the water and muttering about "disgusting tastes" and "declining standards."
That would be Victoria--the badass, sadistic vampire chick.
The two spot her, pale skin, waist-length black hair, red eyes and fangs bared, and pale with horror because, well, "ho'sh!t, she's obviously a blood slurpin' vampire."
And Victoria just sort of smiles coyly and waits for the screams.
They freak, throw the money at her, and beat it out of there quick, but--honestly--they can't outrun a vampire. She's waiting for them around the corner, lounged against a wall and waiting for them. She runs a finger down Willie and Lily's cheeks, starts babbling about how good their blood will taste because it's Noble and pure...
And then she bites them both in the neck and slurps it all up.
So they're lying there, twitching in agony as good ol' Vicky drains the life juice out of them, when a passing goat herder hears their moans and runs Victoria threw with his...pitchfork? (I dunno, still working on that.)
So hooray, they're saved!
Only not.
Because they're vampires now.
And they're thirsty.
Guess who's their first victim?
Willie and Lily can't control themselves because they have a sudden, insatiable craving for human blood, so they snap the farmer's neck and lap it all up. And then they look at each other, see their blood stained cheeks and mouths, and cry.
They take off from the village after that; it's not safe to stay there, for them or anyone else.
And then the opening scene closes with the line, "And so we began on the road to damnation."
Thoughts? Questions? Lemme hear 'em.
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Post by kajnrig on Mar 9, 2009 23:55:55 GMT
Yeah, I was wondering whether to kill off Matthias... but then, ultimately a bunch of vampires would be dead, the culprit would be set up as a tragic figure and then also dead, and Mariya'd have lost the 'love interest' on top of that. The only way I could really round off a bad ending like that is go the whole shebang and have Mariya let herself burn in the sun, a la proper tragic ending style. That'd look kinda weird, though, given that the story's meant to be a chronicle written in the past tense by Mariya herself. =P Well, Marilynne Robinson's Housekeeping managed to pull that just fine. Or, actually... Hm... are they dead, or not dead...? It's set in 17th (or 18th, I haven't decided) century Venice, Italy, and from the few point of one dark-haired William Nobelle (pun much?), a member of the exceedingly rich and wealthy Nobelle family. Nobelle? Noble? Pun on noble? Noble family? Nobelle? No belle? No beauty? A disgusting family? Nobelle? No belle? No bell? No church bells? No church to save them? Nobelle? Nob elle? A wealthy female? Nobelle? Perhaps Le Nobel? An allusion to the famed chemist? Or perhaps an anagram of Le Noble, The Noble, pertaining to the Count Dracula? I see, I see... Nobelle? Perhaps, describing a noble family, a noble vampire family, whose bloodline is shared by Swedish chemist Alfred Nobel, who appear regal and honorable but who are actually ripe with strife, and who must live constantly within earshot of a church, whose church bells constantly toll to them and let them know of their sinful lives? Ah, I see what you did there... VERY interesting indeed... 8-) Willie and Lily can't control themselves because they have a sudden, insatiable craving for human blood, so they snap the farmer's neck and lap it all up. And then they look at each other, see their blood stained cheeks and mouths, and cry. ...for a moment there, I had this thought that they'd look at each other, see their blood stained cheeks and mouths, and make out. They take off from the village after that; it's not safe to stay there, for them or anyone else. And then the opening scene closes with the line, "And so we began on the road to damnation." Thoughts? Questions? Lemme hear 'em. [/color][/size][/quote] Hm... Hm... ... ... ...Hmmm... Hmmmm...... ...cool. EDIT: Okay, it's actually interesting. About how old are these kids, though? 'Cuz, y'know, if they're gonna be making out after sucking up some juice from some guy, they better be of a proper age... That said, I think if you can make it work, then I'm all for it... but isn't that what you ALWAYS have to say? I mean, it's like... of COURSE it'll work if you can make it work, but... gah, it just feels so redundant to say that over and over again.
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Post by VulcanElf on Mar 10, 2009 0:27:44 GMT
Oh, there are definitely some ideas that should never be tried, kaj. Many an author would have benefitted from having someone in his or her life willing to say so.
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Post by kajnrig on Mar 10, 2009 6:39:05 GMT
Are we making a thinly-veiled jab at Twilight here, or are you just talking in general?
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Post by Sylla on Mar 10, 2009 10:38:54 GMT
Sylla: Yeah, while I was reading your plot I was totally expecting a tragic ending and angst, simply because everyone dies n' all that. Still, unless it's explicitly stated that the entire story is a recollection on Mariya's part, you could get away with killing her if you wanted to. By the way, have you thought up a title for this story?
(...Wait, what happened to Matthias' partner? Did she die?) No, I haven't thought up a title yet - unusual for me, but hey, whatever. I'm open to suggestions, though. =P And as to Matthias' partner... well, the basic idea is that she flew into a muderous rage upon hearing what'd happened, like any self-respecting vampire would, ripped off one of Matthias' arms and then promptly left him. (Vampires can regrow limbs, though, so no lasting harm done. :D) Anyway. Your idea sounds pretty solid, but there's a couple of problems with the premise/plot that I spotted. Firstly, the names. I mean, I don't know if you already addressed this and I missed it, but they sound very British for people living in Italy. (While we're at it, Italy wasn't unified 'til halfway through the 18th century, so they wouldn't refer to where they're living as 'Italy', but the individual province. Also, while I like the name Victoria, a) it's not very Italian, and b) it's the name of the ONLY strong female character in Twilight (who is also a 'vampire'), so... Ioknow, making a strong female vampire and calling her Victoria is a leetle too similar. Secondly, there's the question of how William and Lily are saved. I mean, they interrupted Victoria and got munched on for their trouble, so them being saved by a sheperd who interrupts Victoria is a little illogical. I mean, wouldn't she just say, "Goodie!" and munch on that guy, too? A pitchfork can't possibly be that dangerous to a vampire. It'd make more sense if they were saved by someone who could actually do something, like, say, a priest. He might drive away the evil vampire with a cross, and then he'd think they were dead... but then they surprise him by rising and chomp on his neck before he can react! (Heheh. Sorry, I'm getting carried away.) More one this later, but the above points aside, it sounds like a good story. :) I like your introduction of Victoria especially. "Declining standards," heheh.
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Post by VulcanElf on Mar 11, 2009 1:55:14 GMT
Are we making a thinly-veiled jab at Twilight here, or are you just talking in general? I was speaking generally, but you could certainly apply the statement to Twilight as well.
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Post by Youko-Kokuryuuha on Mar 11, 2009 23:43:04 GMT
Kaj...lawl. x3Ah, alas, no. They're supposed to be too engrossed it morbid disgust for what they are for decades, and there emotions---generally speaking---shut the hell down. No romance till later, m'afraid. :p
As for their ages: William is 20, Lillian 19.Anyway. Your idea sounds pretty solid, but there's a couple of problems with the premise/plot that I spotted. Firstly, the names. I mean, I don't know if you already addressed this and I missed it, but they sound very British for people living in Italy. (While we're at it, Italy wasn't unified 'til halfway through the 18th century, so they wouldn't refer to where they're living as 'Italy', but the individual province. Also, while I like the name Victoria, a) it's not very Italian, and b) it's the name of the ONLY strong female character in Twilight (who is also a 'vampire'), so... Ioknow, making a strong female vampire and calling her Victoria is a leetle too similar. Secondly, there's the question of how William and Lily are saved. I mean, they interrupted Victoria and got munched on for their trouble, so them being saved by a sheperd who interrupts Victoria is a little illogical. I mean, wouldn't she just say, "Goodie!" and munch on that guy, too? A pitchfork can't possibly be that dangerous to a vampire. It'd make more sense if they were saved by someone who could actually do something, like, say, a priest. He might drive away the evil vampire with a cross, and then he'd think they were dead... but then they surprise him by rising and chomp on his neck before he can react! (Heheh. Sorry, I'm getting carried away.) More one this later, but the above points aside, it sounds like a good story. :) I like your introduction of Victoria especially. "Declining standards," heheh. Dammit. Ah well. I'll have to go trolling through a few interwebs to find appropriate names then; I might as well look up more about Italian history if I want to make an accurate portrayal. I think I'll rename Lillian either 'Adrianne' or 'Adrianna'; William will most likely become 'Valentino,' 'Marcello,' or 'Lorenzo.'
As for Victoria...that was completely coincidental. I honestly didn't put the two together until you pointed that out, so... Amelia. Or perhaps Elleen. Nah, I think Amelia.
And actually...that's perfectly plausible. I should probably rearrange the fountain's location and have it relocated towards the village's little church. With tolling bells (courtesy of kaj.) And then the priest comes out, waves the cross and throws holy water on Victoria who isn't from Twilight Amelia, who screams in agony and flees. Yes, that's good...leaves opprotunities for future plot developments... *rubs hands together manically*
And this is the part where I pick a location for the village. :p
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Post by Sai on Mar 16, 2009 5:27:21 GMT
Holy moley, does everyone write at least ONE vampire-based story (or at least have an idea of a vampire-based story in their brains?
Bah!
Anyway, I've taken my vampire stuff aimed at a YA category and tossed it. For the next thirty years everything that has anything to do with vampires in YA fiction is going to be subjected to the Twilight Curse.
I won't do it, dammit!
Sai
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