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Post by Sylla on Jun 21, 2008 15:49:14 GMT
RikkuSeymourRikkuSeymourRikkuSeymour.
Ahem. Shut up, brain.
Anyhow... that actually sounds like a very much non-cliche resurrection story. Since pregnancy signifies life and all that, I think that's actually a pretty good pretext for yanking someone back from the Farplane.
Now... as much as I would like it to be Seymour (witty dialog + tension FTW)... I can't see any reason for him not to just take off and go be alive again instead of sticking around and taking care of Rikku. Unless he somewhat acquired a moral compass somewhere on the Farplane and felt obliged to her... hey. Maybe... idea spark! What if the Farplane sorta... 'liberated his true disposition' - i.e. what he would've been like had all that crap with his dysfunctional family not happened. He'd probably be a much nicer person... but anyway. If you don't like Seymour, then don't use Seymour.
In this case I have to admit that Auron would be a much better choice for the storyline you have in mind: while he might be angry at Rikku's irresponsible (in his view) beheviour, he'd never abandon a comrade in need.
... Damn. There was something else I wanted to say/suggest, but I can't remember.
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Post by T. Costa on Jun 21, 2008 15:55:46 GMT
I'm just kinda trying to iron the ideas out. Actually, you gave me the idea in another thread (I think it was you - apparently you are my other muse!) when we started discussing pregnancy as a plot device. I had a sudden flash of using a pregnancy as a plot device in an unconventional manner and decided I wanted to do an Aurikku, but in order to do that I'd have to bring Auron back. So basically, with this story, I am attempting to take two common things used badly and use them in a good way - pregnancy and resurrection.
Anyway, if anyone has any ideas I could sure use them. D:
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Post by fearandloathing on Jun 21, 2008 17:16:26 GMT
Wow, that *is* an original idea, Tasha, I love the idea of Rikku coping with being a signle mom, especially if it's while Yuna's trying to start a family herself, I'm such a closet Yuna/Rikku-falling-out fan sees Rikku wanting to cry and hating Yuna for wanting a baby when she's having a hard time with hers, all 'stop acting so POSITIVE about it' D:Hm, lets see, I re-assert the idea of Rikku being supposed to lose the baby, so if you know about miscarriange scares and all the bleeding and scariness that comes with that, but (with Auron's help being AURON-ness ) she fights for it and manages to keep her baby. Alternatively, what about the Farplane trying to claim the baby in trade for the life(lives) she brings back, so that could be either my miscarriange idea, or the baby being supposed to be left in the Farplane once its born, or strange things happening as the baby getts corrupted by farplane energy Pyre flies gone wrong and all that As for other people, there's Jehct and Braska to consider Tidus/Yuna married and trying to make babies with a wasted Jehct and busibody Braska oodling around camp
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Post by La Editor on Jun 21, 2008 17:27:01 GMT
YES MEHS INTERNET IS ALIVVEEEEE! *cough* It died. Painfully. I really, really like where this is heading, Tasha. Like you said, you're taking two common plot devices and really adding twists that make them new, and its great. You said that you don't want to lose the baby, which makes sense because its a major basis for the story. I had been thinking along the lines of losing it for Auron, but maybe instead of that, what if it was just the soul? I have a few ideas here, I'll just spew them out for you. :3 It could be a soul for a soul - Rikku is carrying the baby, but it will be more or less a living doll: there will be nothing there. They could find this out somehow towards the beginning - eehh, haven't thought about how P: But yeah. She could be traveling to find a way to get it back, and Auron would accompany her because he would suspect it would be his fault; at the end, they could perhaps find out that Auron has to go back to the Farplane for a soul exchange. Random add-on: in order to go back to the Farplane, Auron has to take the place of the baby (LOL AURON IN HER TUMMY) Rikku goes into the Farplane, and then the switch happens, turning it into Auron's child! XD Sorry, sorry. I'm still sort of D: about the Gippal thing. I would feel bad for him. Maybe... this is just me, but if he really is just called away and can't get to her, if he really does love her but she and Auron fall in love... KILL HIM. BWAHAHAHAHA, CHARACTER DEATH = <3. >D Ahem. >.< Sorry, had to. Anyway, the one thing I really suggest you do is to make Auron go back while Rikku keeps the kid. I just think that it would be sort of bittersweet, and I think a lot of people are suckers for those sorts of endings. I mean, where would the fun be if they got a perfect happily-ever-after? That's just me. But I'm not really worrying, because I know you're going to make it work however you do it. You just win. The internet. And lots of plushies. SEYMOURRIKKUSEYMOURRIKKU. OH GAWD WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF D:
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Post by Pen Against Sword on Jun 21, 2008 18:13:37 GMT
Actually, Costa, I really like that idea, and normally, I HATE pregnancy stories (ew babies ew).
Here's my idea, based off of a lot of what Editor said.
I think you could have her keep the baby, but have it as a life-for-a-life type of thing. Maybe, Auron's resurrection process is not completed when he comes back to life, and as the pregnancy goes on, it's a sort of battle for existence. Technically, the baby and Auron are sharing the same "one free life" token, and consequences can result because of that, like Auron's existence is kind of iffy at times, if he's not concentrating he can start to get translucent and insubstantial, or if he's drawing on life too hard, it can cause Rikku extreme pain with the baby, etc (wow I think that sounds like a neat idea--I'll stop hijacking your story).
Or maybe, scratch all that and in some chain of events, she loses the baby in exchange for Auron prancing around, or they end up having to make a choice--the baby or Auron. And when it's reached that point, they're in love and they want to make a life together, and they have to make the split second, hardest decision of their lives, and Auron's all "Oh em gee, i'm not worthy, your baby deserves to live" and Rikku's like, "I can't raise a baby without you/I love you, Auron/something or other." And they decide to give up the baby with the hopes that they can make new ones? (That sounded really mean. I know a life is more valuable than that, gaiz, so don't hate on me.)
OR. OH GOD THIS JUST CAME TO ME. TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE.
Maybe, in a fit of selflessness (of course you would have to lead up to this), Gippal gives his life in exchange for Auron and the baby. So it's sort of like first, the baby 's new life summons Auron's unfinished one back, then there was no proper repayment, since for some reason, the two souls are duking it out for possession of the same existence (like I mentioned earlier), so by giving himself up to the Farplane, Gippal makes the ultimate sacrifice and repays the debt of one life owed to the Farplane, thereby balancing the flow once again.
See, I just thought of plausibly awesome character death! And maybe he does it all for Rikku because he loves her!
Feel free to say, "Oh, gee, Pen, those ideas are dumb." and reject all of them, 'kay?
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Post by Sylla on Jun 21, 2008 19:26:52 GMT
Oh, gee, Pen, those ideas are not dumb. I actually like the whole battle for existance thing... like, maybe at first Auron is really there, but as the fetus (FETUS, I insist) becomes more developed he gets increasingly insubstatial and starts to fade away occasionally. Cue mounting tension until the resolution when the decision is made, one way or another. And... call me evil, but I really really like the idea of Gippal sacrificing himself. I did not like him in FFX-2 (partly because I am a hopeless case of Aurikku fangirlism, and partly because I just found him ANNOYING). So having him do a noble sacrifice at the end would make me all . Huh. The way I'm going on about it, you'd think it was my story. Sorry, Costa, I'll shut up now! Except. SEYMOURRIKKUSEYMOURRIKKU. OH GAWD WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF D: Glad to see you're suffering just as hard as I am. We're corrupted, we'll never be the same again! ... And sadly I can't bring myself to care all that much. XD
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Post by T. Costa on Jun 22, 2008 0:24:29 GMT
Maybe, in a fit of selflessness (of course you would have to lead up to this), Gippal gives his life in exchange for Auron and the baby. So it's sort of like first, the baby 's new life summons Auron's unfinished one back, then there was no proper repayment, since for some reason, the two souls are duking it out for possession of the same existence (like I mentioned earlier), so by giving himself up to the Farplane, Gippal makes the ultimate sacrifice and repays the debt of one life owed to the Farplane, thereby balancing the flow once again. See, I just thought of plausibly awesome character death! And maybe he does it all for Rikku because he loves her! Oh my GOD YOU ARE A GENIUS CAN I STEAL YOUR IDEA PLEASE? I will totally give you credit. That is not only amazingly sacrificial, but AMAZINGLY AWESOME AT THE SAME TIME. It's a great way to get rid of the nagging character, too. D: D: D: I think I even know exactly how the scene will play out, too. They'll find out the soul is corrupted at the same time Rikku goes in (after, of course, she and Auron have already fallen in love) for an ultrasound or something like that, and Gippal will stare at the screen and see his almost-whole baby girl and just MELT. Daddies and their daughters have kind of a special bond, too - I have yet to have met a decent dad who wouldn't give up his life for his baby girl. I can see it in my mind - Rikku, Auron and Gippal go back to the Farplane, Auron expecting to go back to being dead, and Gippal goes "No, take me instead!" or something along those lines. OH MY GOD PEN YOU ARE A *GENIUS*. O.O
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Post by Pen Against Sword on Jun 22, 2008 1:04:20 GMT
Maybe, in a fit of selflessness (of course you would have to lead up to this), Gippal gives his life in exchange for Auron and the baby. So it's sort of like first, the baby 's new life summons Auron's unfinished one back, then there was no proper repayment, since for some reason, the two souls are duking it out for possession of the same existence (like I mentioned earlier), so by giving himself up to the Farplane, Gippal makes the ultimate sacrifice and repays the debt of one life owed to the Farplane, thereby balancing the flow once again. See, I just thought of plausibly awesome character death! And maybe he does it all for Rikku because he loves her! Oh my GOD YOU ARE A GENIUS CAN I STEAL YOUR IDEA PLEASE? I will totally give you credit. That is not only amazingly sacrificial, but AMAZINGLY AWESOME AT THE SAME TIME. It's a great way to get rid of the nagging character, too. D: D: D: I think I even know exactly how the scene will play out, too. They'll find out the soul is corrupted at the same time Rikku goes in (after, of course, she and Auron have already fallen in love) for an ultrasound or something like that, and Gippal will stare at the screen and see his almost-whole baby girl and just MELT. Daddies and their daughters have kind of a special bond, too - I have yet to have met a decent dad who wouldn't give up his life for his baby girl. I can see it in my mind - Rikku, Auron and Gippal go back to the Farplane, Auron expecting to go back to being dead, and Gippal goes "No, take me instead!" or something along those lines. OH MY GOD PEN YOU ARE A *GENIUS*. O.O *bows theatrically* Thank you, thank you. I try, madam. I don't care if you use the idea. Crediting me would just be a bonus, actually, and I wouldn't have told you all that if I hadn't hoped you could use it in some way. Have a ball with it, Costa. I'd love to see it written!
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Post by T. Costa on Jun 22, 2008 2:06:49 GMT
Oh God I love this place. Seriously. Thanks to ya'll I think I have the majority of the details ironed out. Hopefully I can go rework everything over and start knocking out some chapters. XD Thank you guys soooo much.
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Post by La Editor on Jun 22, 2008 3:58:44 GMT
:3 Pen is a genius! (*secretly wishes I was smart* D:) Oooh, will the bebe be a girly or a boy...ly...? DX Err, yeah. Oh, oh, what'll it's name be?! (Oh, gawd, I sound like some weird, doting aunt.) I had forgotten that they go by Yu-Ri-Pa, by the way. I haven't played FFX-2, but when they do it in KH it makes me giggle. For this they could be... Au-Ri-Ba! (*is sporked*) NEVARMIND. I can't wait to see the story, though, Tasha. It sounds like it will be one helluva amazing Aurikku. What are you going to name it? It should be a totally awesome title. Like, "HAHAIPWNJOOWITHSTORIESOFSEXYDESIGNLAWL." >.> Mebbe not that. Heyhey, errrrr, so I've noticed that, being primarily a Yuffie-first-person writer and interpreting Vincent from the third-person... I'm having problems writing Barret. And Tifa, interacting with said gunner. D: I think it came out alright, but I'd like some feedback - Oceans is still in the sort of primal stages, so I don't want to send it to my betas (I feel so selfish. I have two awesome, kickbutt betas. It's like... it's like Ta-La-Pen!*is shot*) to be betaed yet because I'm still writing things in and making changes and stuff. So, can you guys give me some feedback? Please? [embarrassment] Errr, so yeah. I hate writing Barret and Cid, exactly because they have accents. >.< Yeah. And Barret is hard to characterize, for me. So, ueahfoepahfip yes. D: [/embarrassment]
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Post by Sylla on Jun 22, 2008 8:35:56 GMT
I really don't see what you're so embarrassed about here, La - I enjoyed reading it, and nothing struck me as particularly awkward or OOC (hey, here come the Beta gloves on!).
The only part of Barret's dialog in that passage that I'd change (minor detail, really) is "shi'". If you try, it's really quite hard not to pronounce the 't' at the end; comes out sounding like shih... which kinda sounds like he got the wind knocked out of him partway through swearing. =P Oh, wait. And now that I think about it, maybe replacing the second 'baby' for Marlene. The first one is fine because it's, well, something he'd say, but as AC shows, he's perfectly fine with calling her Marlene, too. XD
Also, I was a bit confused as to the 'junk' he refers to when he asks Tifa what she's been feeding Marlene. The vegetables? If that's the case, then why? Barret positively dotes on his daughter - adores her - so he'd want her to grow up strong and healthy. Wouldn't he just assume Tifa knows best in terms of nutrition? (This is just what I thought, though - and I really do like that line "Tifa, you been feeding my baby this junk?", so... whatever. I was just a little confoosed, because I get occasionally upid-stay that way.)
Apart from that, though, I think you pulled off his dialog and accent really well. He swears, but not too exaggeratedly (like a certain captain we all know) and, thankfully, his accent is there, but not so thick as to be almost unintelligible - which I have seen in some other fics. (Makes me want to tell them to go play the game again, because Barret does not talk like that.)
So on to Tifa. Again, really good. I like how she's the metaphorical mother of AVALANCHE, making sure they all have greens to eat. And I love love love the way she can calmly bully Barret backing down about the dinner. Deceptive strenght ftw and all that. Aaand there's really nothing about her dialog/actions that jarred at me.
Anyway, as to the narration itself: you write Yuffie's PoV like woah. Seriously, it's great. I love how her thoughts (and therefore the narration itself) go on tangents throughout the narration, then go back to what she was originally talking about. From a technical point of view... I'd capitalize the first letter of all you dialog, even stuff like: 'and said loudly, "whaaaat?!"' It strikes me as more correct to have it as "Whaaaat?!" - but I'm not sure about the actual grammar rule in this case. I know, D:.
... It strikes me as somewhat funny that I try for a little feedback and then go completely overboard. Well, in the end it's up to you how much attention you pay to this, I guess. XD
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Post by T. Costa on Jun 22, 2008 14:25:35 GMT
It's like... it's like Ta-La-Pen!*is shot* Oh gawd. We are not dressing up in campy costumes and having sleepovers. .....Unless I get to be Paine cuz she rocks. lol.
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Post by Pen Against Sword on Jun 22, 2008 19:59:18 GMT
It's like... it's like Ta-La-Pen!*is shot* Oh gawd. We are not dressing up in campy costumes and having sleepovers. .....Unless I get to be Paine cuz she rocks. lol. I'm blonde! I could be Rikku! I have sort of greenish- blueish eyes! ...Editor is nice enough to be Yuna. As long as you guys don't mind me walking around with my pasty white belly hanging out of Rikku's revealing Al Bhed clothing. Woohoo!
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Post by T. Costa on Jun 22, 2008 20:12:59 GMT
I like Paine, I could pull her off, except that half of her outfits have a camel toe thing going on. D:
(Also, Pen, I think you'd look really good in Rikku's Black Mage outfit. Plus, that outfit is full of win.)
Although, Editor is fond of crossplay, I believe. She could be Bahamut's Fayth. XDDDD
Also, to kind of sort of go back to the subject at hand, I have started rewriting the first very short chapter I wrote to that story. I'm really liking it so far.
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Post by fearandloathing on Jun 22, 2008 20:25:58 GMT
Crossplay FTW I am crossplaying the HELL out of October! JUST YOU ALL SEE!!!
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